Fearless On My Breath

The song Teardrop by Massive Attack starts: Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word, fearless on my breath. I think this is a fair description of love.

You see, if you treat Love like it is just a word then that word can lose its meaning. You can say love again and again until you lose all of your breath but if your actions don’t say the same thing then the word means nothing. Whether you’re talking about someone you love, something you love, or even a job that you love; if your actions don’t mean the same thing then the word is worthless.

Long before I met David I was in another relationship. The person I was in a relationship with definitely didn’t have his actions follow suit with his words. As a result I left that relationship very confused about what love was and about what trust was. So meeting David, I was still very confused. I definitely didn’t enter this relationship fearless. But love is an action, love is a choice, love is kindness, and at it’s best love is fearless!

Fearlessness has never come easily for me! I was the kid who was last to ride a bike or to swim, or to ride a roller coaster… The girl who never learned to do a cartwheel… I was always afraid of getting hurt! So often I’ve feared that things weren’t as good as they seemed on the surface. But as time has gone on, I have learned not to judge as “guilty until proven innocent” but to judge as “innocent until proven guilty”. Time and again my fiancĂ© has proven that his love is a verb, it’s a doing word, and it is fearless!

I strive to keep my love as a verb. I try to show that I love my family, my friends, my job, and my David; in how I approach them, in how I respect them, and in how I treat them. There is always the risk of being hurt, and always the risk of hurting another when you allow yourself to connect through love, and so fear can seem to seep through even the smallest cracks… But when you act out of love you do so in spite of the fear, and so become fearless.

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