WARNING: This is a Rant.

So earlier I posted about the Generosity David and I have experienced in the past few days. But now I’m going to talk about the other side of the planning thing for my wedding to my ever so wonderful fiancé David.

In my mind, I was picturing a certain kind of event. A church service at my home parish is essential. When I walked through the doors of the new Holy Cross Church for the first time, I was struck with a thought completely separate from the train my mind had been on a moment earlier: I’m going to get married in this church. Every time I have been in that church since (and please understand that I attended this new church building for a good year and a half prior to meeting David) I have felt the same sentiment: it is the place I will get married. Lucky for me, David wants to get married there too. He thinks it will make nice pictures, and he thinks it’s a nice looking building. Plus, he goes to mass there with me pretty much every week. What I am finding super frustrating, though, is that there is a year waiting period to get married at this church. What sucks even more is that when David was trying to get his ducks in a row for our engagement, the priest would not respond to him, and the only way we got a date to meet with the priest is because I stepped in and took over requesting. This in and of itself isn’t so bad, but the priest is on a sabbatical, and while there is a priest filling in, the priest on sabbatical won’t let us talk to the fill in… Despite the fact that the sabbatical priest will be moving to a new parish about a month after returning! So he won’t even be the one marrying us! David and I got engaged on April 19 and it will be May 28 before we can talk to the priest. This frustrates me because we can’t set a date until we speak to the priest and planning everything else kind of requires a date.

I bought my wedding dress without knowing when I am getting married!

Ok… So without a date picked, we have tried to do some budget and guest list figuring. It looks like we can comfortably save and pay out about $5000 for the wedding, and we have whittled our 140 person guest list down to 96. But at between $40 and $60 per head for food there goes the whole budget. No rings, no photographer, heck no venue or anything else for that matter!

I had hoped we would be able to cook for ourselves and just do a crock-pot buffet of yumtastic home made soul food things like meatballs, chili, salad, buns, pasta, and whatever… But it looks like that isn’t a viable option. I don’t really get this, but apparently of you are having a party with friends and rent out a hall here in town then you can bring in your own food. And you could fit a wedding’s worth of people into the party and whatever! BUT if that party is a wedding the rules change and you need special permits and the food has to hit certain guidelines and suddenly my soul food is a whole lot of heartache and red tape and seemingly impossible! It ticks me off, really. It seems like robbery and it just seems like bull crap.

The ceremony is really what matters. On whatever date it happens, I am going to commit my life to David, and he is going to commit his life to me! And at the end of the night we will go home together to start building our life together. Everything in between is icing and filling. I don’t want to dig ourselves into a pit of debt for icing and filling! I want us to own a house! I want us to be able to go on a honeymoon! The costs And complications associated with this are outrageous!

On the flip side, I do want to share this special day with family and friends… I would like to dance and celebrate, and have a fun time too.

2 thoughts on “WARNING: This is a Rant.

  1. Wow! I get it! It IS so unfair that companies gouge people as soon as the word “wedding” is uttered! I thought I might tell you what my wedding was like. We were on an extremely tight budget – so we went to a JP with my Mom and my paternal grandmother as witnesses. In the evening we went to a restaurant with approx a dozen family members from both sides (my father paid for the meal – but we didn’t know that he would do that going in). After dinner, 6 of us went to a club to go dancing.

    The way I see it you and David have a couple of options – you can
    1) raise funds to help offset some of the expenses
    2) down-size to a very intimate number of guests for the meal (one of the most expensive parts of a wedding)
    3) see how much of your expenses could be covered by “donation” (e.g. a family member that is a really good photographer that would donate services as their wedding gift)
    4) check out how much it would cost to have an outdoor reception with temporary tents so you can (I’m hoping) make your own rules re: food
    Any way – those are my suggestions.

    • Tents are really not cheap, and I told you cheaper options like a cocktail party. Even if it was a kids birthday party at venues the same rules apply- Pizza Hut is approved but there are still rules and contracts. You just have to decide what’s really important.

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