This is gross… Really, really gross.

WARNING: this is definitely the most disgusting post I have written. I am not proud of what happened…

I have TMJ and as a result I tend to clench and grind my teeth. Especially when I’m sleeping or stressed. I have 2 mouth guards for my TMJ. They both are hard plastic and fit over my upper teeth, they are both specially formed to fit my teeth, and would cost around $1000 to replace. I’m unsure if they are covered by my insurance. The bigger mouth guard fits over all of my upper teeth,but since my tooth trouble it does not fit properly because my back molar is a little loose. I tried putting that mouth guard in and it was agony! Taking it out again was even worse. It got stuck on that stupid molar!
So, my little one has been a necessity. It keeps my back molars from touching, and has been an invaluable help. I’ve worn it day and night, to give my jaw a rest and so I don’t absentmindedly touch those teeth together.

Last night as I was getting ready to brush my teeth for bed, I dropped my mouth guard. The little one. It bounced off the counter, hit the toilet seat, bounced again, hit the other side of the seat, bounced again and went in the toilet!
Now, that is bad enough… But it gets worse. You see, there were 3 wads of tp in there. My mom has a tendency to forget to flush…
I had no choice. If I wanted to be able to sleep, I had no other choice! I picked it out with my hand! Then I flushed the toilet. Ughhhhhhhhhhh…..
I washed my hands and the mouth guard three times with hand soap and the hottest water I could get from the tap and then left the thing soaking in Listerine while I woke mom up and told her exactly why she needs to flush the toilet. I also texted David. His response:
Alcohol that thing
I don’t know if listerine contains alcohol anymore…
If you have some rubbing alcohol, I’d suggest using it

I couldn’t find rubbing alcohol anywhere. But! I found this:

I poured about a half a tablespoon into a tablespoon measure and took an old toothbrush, dipped it in the whiskey and brushed my mouth guard, I brushed it with whiskey 3 times. Then I threw out the old toothbrush.
I then brushed the mouth guard with toothpaste with my new toothbrush. After brushing my teeth, I held the mouth guard in my hand for a long time… Trying to convince myself that it was ok.
I weighed the cost and benefits against the grossness of the situation and realized that since I could not – regardless of cost – replace that little piece of plastic at that time of night… Nor could I fall asleep without it… I really had no choice but to put it in my mouth.


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