When we first found out we were going to have a baby back in July, one of the first things I thought of was the delivery. I have sensitivities to anesthetics and I knew I wouldn’t be having an epidural. I also knew I didn’t want an IV and I knew that lying on your back is not a very effective labouring position. I also know that I’m not very fond of hospitals and as a result of all of these factors I was drawn to the idea of Midwifery care.
I talked to David about my options and he was supportive and a good listener, but he really thought that although this was our baby, really we were talking about my body and what would be best for me. He felt that I had to make the decision and he trusted me to make the right one.
I talked to my fertility specialist about it and she thought it was a great idea, she did some calling around to find a good midwife near me and after calling their clinic and a first meeting with one of the two midwives that would be responsible for my care, I decided that this felt right. I was happy to make the decision to have my pregnancy overseen by the midwives and David was happy that I had taken the time to research my options and he was happy with the choice I picked.
When things started going wrong at 14 weeks, David was the one to call the midwives, he got all the information we needed and gave them the information they needed. He followed their instructions to get me to the hospital. The midwives helped David as well as me. They answered his questions and helped him help me to make the tough decisions.
When things were not going so hot again at 18 weeks, David was with me at the midwifery clinic when our midwife said we needed to go to the hospital.
Once we were at the hospital, I don’t know why, but I though the midwifery care would stop. Despite that assumption, I asked if my midwife could be there for the birth. And she was! The midwives helped David as well as me. They answered his questions and helped him help me to make the tough decisions.
Our midwives, Karen and Carol were amazing! They were gentle and kind and compassionate. They helped us both to feel comfortable. The clinic was welcoming. Their help at the hospital was invaluable. and the home visits were amazingly helpful. I really felt cared for from beginning to end.
Obviously, my pregnancy with Lily didn’t go as planned, but I was blown away with the midwives. I had in home visits with them for the first six weeks postpartum. They brought David and I information on grief counseling. They brought us the results of the placental analysis, and explained it to us. They helped me get the time I needed off work, and they set up an appointment with an OBGYN who specializes in high risk pregnancies and deliveries to go over what went wrong with Lily’s pregnancy and what we could do going forward.
Both of our midwives helped us through the process. Offering advice, telling us what to expect, making sure we were doing okay both mentally and physically. They were only a phone call away and in person they even provided hugs when needed.
We met with the doctor just before Christmas and discussed with her how we lost Lily, and the order of events that led to her very preterm birth at only 18w6d. She agreed that we should approach another pregnancy as if it is high risk. She would be our doctor right from the word go with a referral from either our family doctor or a fertility specialist. At that point she would monitor me and the baby closely, and probably put in a stitch at 13 or 14 weeks. We could also see a midwife during that time as well. The doctor would take over the medical side and the midwives would see to our well being. After 34 weeks if everything has gone well and I have not delivered yet the midwives would take over all sides of my care. If the baby needed to be delivered before then the midwives would be a part of that delivery just like Karen was for Lily.
When we returned from visiting family in Kingston, David and I had a card waiting for us from our midwife Karen. She wrote us a note inside the card saying that she thinks of us often, hoping we’re okay and taking care of ourselves. It was a very special gesture.
Even though we don’t need midwifery care right now, I know that if we get pregnant again, we will be calling them and having them involved with our pregnancy and delivery.