Well, 2015 is officially a memory now. Or I guess more accurately a series of memories. A lot happened this year, and David‘s and my lives have definitely been changed. We learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship and I think we both came out of 2015 stronger than we went into it.
January found us living in a really terrible apartment on Main Street in my home town. We had been there since October and it was a place we moved to out of desperation and not a desire to live there. A rickety wooden outdoor staircase took us up to a balcony we never used, and the door into the kitchen. To the left was a cupboard, and a table covered in stuff we didn’t have room for, to the right was the L shaped kitchen and the door to the washroom. The washroom was the most spacious room in the apartment. But that really isn’t saying much. The kitchen was cramped, and old and the oven was scary to use. It might burn the food to a crisp or leave it frozen, the temperature was just a guess. The kitchen lights flickered, if you stomped on the floor you could get them to turn off or on. The wall where the stove was had a cut out window to the next room. As the kitchen had the only source of natural light in the place this cut out let a bit of sunlight penetrate into the intended living room. We made this space our bedroom because the perpetual darkness of the bedroom did nothing to help our mental health nor my claustrophobia and my Meformin moods.
At the start of February I weaned myself off the Metformin, and around that same time I found out that we had our first appointment with a new fertility specialist bumped forward from June to April. David found us a much better place to live… Big windows in both bedrooms, a balcony off the living room. A nice sized kitchen, where the lights are controlled only by switches! A bathroom with a tub I’d be the first person to take a bath in, and an office for him. Not to mention laundry and underground parking… The only catch was moving 45 minutes west of home. Mid-month we were unpacking in our new apartment. It was cold, and we didn’t take much time to sight see or get to know our new city. The apartment was warm and clean and new, and aside from noisy parties every once in a while, things were pretty good.
In March I made the most of my week vacation from work and took a trip all by myself to BC to visit my sister, brother in law, and two nieces who had moved out there in the summer of 2014. David couldn’t come because of work and the outrageous cost of plane tickets. It was a nice visit with part of my family that I miss desperately.
In April David and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We spent the day having an adventure. We started by having a nice breakfast together then we drove to the next town over to have a late lunch at Casey’s. There had been a Casey’s near the movie theatre where we went a LOT. That Casey’s was pretty fancy and oh, was their steak good! But that Casey’s closed, and it wasn’t as close now that we’d moved. So we used our Google Maps and went to find this new Casey’s. It wasn’t so good, it wasn’t so fancy and the food was meh. BUT the company was good, the car ride was great, the conversation was awesome and the love was there! On they way home we stopped at a local ice cream place that we had heard good things about and it did not disappoint. It was a good day. That month I also saw Doctor Heather for the first time and went through some tests and procedures before starting on Serophene in the hopes of getting pregnant. The main side effects of that being hot flashes and a little rage monster that lived in my chest.
May was a lot of adjusting to the new medication and trying to find out exactly how to make it work for me. I also had to do a lot of driving as I had to go to the fertility clinic at an average of three ties a week. The distance wouldn’t have been so bad if we were still living in my home town but our relocation made it over an hour drive there and then battling with rush hour to make it to work on time after my cycle monitoring. I spent most of this month exhausted and irritable. For the May 24 weekend we got to visit David’s family for the first time since Christmas. It was a much needed visit, we missed them a lot and I know David’s mental health is better when he gets to see his family more.
June started with disappointment. I had thought the Serophene had worked and that I was pregnant, but my first trip to the doctor that month proved me wrong. We got to go to Niagara Comicon, and there was a great Q&A with Sean Astin. I also got all dressed up Medieval style to go to a jousting match with some family, and I loved it so much I made plans with my cousin for her to teach me how to sew! After the last day of school David and I went to the drive in together. It was fun, but I fell asleep after the first movie.
In July, disappointment on the fertility front continued as it looked like the drug was suddenly working too well, and then it seemed to just stop working all together. We started talking about the next steps… Injections that would cost us a pretty penny. David and I decided that once this cycle was completed, we were going to take a break. We started planning a road trip out west to see our family out there together. I kept myself busy buying fabric and learning how to sew. My cousin is an awesome teacher! It was also great getting to spend so much time with her and my niece who was also learning how to sew. We left for our road trip on July 21, and only a few days later we found out I was pregnant! Visiting with our family out west, holding this immense joy in our hearts was wonderful. My sister is a nurse, and has been pregnant twice, it was great getting to bounce all my questions off her.
August we returned home on my mom’s birthday and we let our Ontario family know our news as quickly as we could. I went back to see the fertility doc, and she put me on progesterone, and I settled into a routine of nausea, and food aversions and feeling more awesome and beautiful than I ever had before. I finished my first sewing project, and luckily the lace up back was quite forgiving to my baby bloat. David and I celebrated our anniversary by going to Fan-Expo where we met in 2012. We spent from Thursdsay to Sunday in Toronto and stayed at the Royal York. It was a wonderful weekend. I rode on the VIA train for the first time ever on our way there and the second time ever on our way back.
September meant back to work for me. It was fun letting my coworkers know about “Widget”. We graduated from the fertility clinic and were under the care of just our midwifery team. David and I decided to announce our pregnancy on facebook because we were out of the “danger zone” of the first trimester when most miscarriages occur. My cousin, niece and I did a photo shoot as a botanical garden in our dresses. David took the photos because he is awesome.
In October I went to Hamilton Comicon with one of my nieces who has a nerdy streak. It was her first con. We didn’t go to any O&As we just walked the floors, looking at the art and memorabilia, and admiring the Cosplay. Pregnancy-wise, we had a scare at 14 weeks in our pregnancy. I was bleeding a lot and we thought I was having a miscarriage. But I wasn’t, and after that I tried to take it easy. We went to Kingston for Halloween weekend and that was another nice visit and again too long overdue! It was great seeing everyone and getting to catch up.
On November 7th our precious Lily was born far too soon. After four days of being in the hospital and almost a week of on-again off-again preterm labour, we held our daughter and said goodbye. It was by far one of the hardest experiences of my life. I was blown away by the love and support we received in the wake of our tragedy. David and I clung to each other and allowed this hardship to strengthen our relationship and bring us closer together rather than divide us. David turned 33 on the 14th and we spent his birthday weekend in Niagara Falls being tourists. We had dinner in a fancy restaurant, we lost money at the casino, we played mini golf – he won but I got a hole in one! It was a nice break from life. By the end of November we had finished the editing process and our first novel Second Class Supers was ready for print.
December was a tough month emotionally, winding up for the holiday season with a cloud of grief overhead. We put up a Christmas tree for the first time as a couple. We did 90% of our Christmas shopping online and I crocheted so much I started having repetitive motion strain in my arm. Second Class Supers was set up for purchase in ebook form and then on Amazon.com in paperback. We got copies to send to our Kickstarter backers and to sell on our own. Most importantly, we were able to hold a copy of the book we had written. David and I are officially self published authors! We went and saw Star Wars – The Force Awakens. I thought we had tickets for opening night, Friday December 18th, But it turned out there were advanced screenings on the 17th. Still we were among the first to see it and I was happy. We spent from the 21st to the 25th visiting with David’s family, then had our own little Christmas tradition of Chinese food and the Doctor Who Christmas special on Christmas night. The next day we celebrated with my family. December 28th we did the annual Lord of the Rings marathon at my brother’s house. Last night we had a quiet evening together, just David and I, watching Harry Potter quietly while I nursed a headache.
It has been quite a year. It had very high highs and crushingly low lows. But on the whole, I’m going to call 2015 a good year because I made great memories with some of the best people on the planet.