For me, this year, I felt like it was very important for David to be celebrated on Father’s Day. He is Lily’s father and he’s Bee’s Father, and through all we have been through in the past year, he has shown himself to be an amazing dad.
I told him that I wanted to celebrate Father’s Day with him and that we could do whatever he wanted to do that day. At first he was pretty reluctant, but because I’m so persistent, he finally agreed. Sunday morning we got up and we went to my home town for a car show. David isn’t a real “car guy” but he loves photography, and cars can be fun to take pictures of. We walked around for a bit, then I needed to sit, then a bit more, then a sit. David was really aware of how I was doing and when I needed to take a break. He didn’t seem annoyed at all! He took a bunch of pictures and seemed really happy. He is able to find a way to take shots that end up having no people visible in them even at a crowded event like this!
We were done at the car show before noon, and the next stop he wanted to make was to visit my dad. My dad died when I was 18. He had Alzheimer’s disease and slowly was taken away form us, piece by piece for ten years. David never got to meet him. We went to the cemetery, and David was able to find my dad’s grave easily, we have been there a few times before. I sat on the grass, and David crouched beside me. I told him what stories I could remember at that moment, and struggled to speak through my tears. David asked questions, and was attentive to the stories. It really moves me that this man, when given the choice to do anything, chose to spend part of his day visiting the grave, and remembering a man he never met. I know the two of them would have gotten along so well, I’m sad they never got to meet.
Back in the car, I wiped my tears and composed myself before continuing our adventure. David wanted to have lunch at a grill house in town, that has a really good pulled pork poutine. When we got there they weren’t open yet, but I really needed a loo, so we drove to Wal-mart, and I went there. We walked around a little bit then found a bench inside the store to sit on. We sat, just outside the pharmacy section of the store and chatted about the new gaming systems coming out that are able to support 4K games, but with limitations. The more graphically intense games won’t 4K as nicely as more simplistic games like Minecraft. We also talked about the slow death of the motion capture devices for the consoles (like Kinect for the X-box). Then about how sometimes the best technology isn’t the one that wins (HD DVD vs Blu Ray).
We went back to the grill house and got our lunch. We split a pulled pork poutine and an order of hush puppies, which are like deep fried cornbread balls. The food was not the healthiest, but it sure was tasty! We weren’t able to finish all the poutine though.
The next thing we did, was go to the movie theatre just down the street from our house. We decided to see Warcraft. On the way there I asked him how it felt, celebrating his first father’s day and he said “imagine if you died your hair red, and the next day was Ginger Appreciation Day, and you go and celebrate it. Sure you’ve got red hair, but it’s not really your day because you’re not a true ginger. That’s how it feels.” I told him that he is a dad, and he said that it had been a nice day. The movie was alright, it wasn’t the best movie either of us has seen but it wasn’t the worst either. Glad we saw it, but we won’t have to see it again.
We got home and had a bit of downtime, and I offered to make dinner, but David wanted to go to a pub just around the corner. Over dinner we talked more about my dad, and David told me stories about his dad too. There were some really great stories to tell and a good helping of smiles and laughter.
I know that it’s hard to feel like a parent when you don’t have your children to parent, but I really felt it was important to celebrate David as a dad, because he is a dad.