Well, this week was a busy one. It started with us going for our fourth scheduled ultrasound all told it was our sixth, but I don’t really count the ER ultrasound because I never saw the screen and it wasn’t planned. The ultrasound on Saturday was being done at the hospital and it was in preparation for the cerclage procedure. Friday night I did not sleep well. I was so worried about all the things that could go wrong. I was so worried that they wouldn’t let David into the room with me and then they’d discover that something was wrong with the baby and we’d end up having to stay at the hospital and when we’d finally be discharged it would be just the two of us again, and we’d have lost Bee too.
I had a headache on Saturday and I still felt anxious. I knew from my previous experiences there that the hospital diagnostic imaging department’s policy was to not let anyone in with me and not give me any information. It is a totally different atmosphere than at the fertility clinic. When we got to the hospital the tech wasn’t going to let David in, but then I started crying and David started explaining why I was so freaked out. So she let him come in to hold my hand, but he wasn’t allowed to look at the monitor. That was fine. We could tell she didn’t want me to be upset or afraid, and the first thing she said when she started the scan was that she was reading the heartbeat. She didn’t let us hear it. She didn’t say much else until the end. It was probably the longest ultrasound scan I have ever had! She was going for about 45 minutes. Imagine someone pushing on your belly for 45 minutes when you have to pee. Not so much fun. At that point she wanted to know what due date Doctor H had given me. She said there was “a discrepancy” between the size of Bee and the date of my last period. I had to roll my eyes at that. When she had first asked the date of my last period before starting her scan I had told her but also said that I ovulated much later than that because of fertility treatments to get me to ovulate. So yes, of course there would be a discrepancy. We didn’t get to see our Bee, we were never allowed a peek at the screen, but the tech did reassure us again before we left that there was a good heartbeat. Did I mention she took the absolute longest to do an ultrasound. She took forever! It was so long!
Later in the day, David’s brother came by for a visit. He lives on the east coast so we don’t get many visits with him. He was in the area for a wedding and we had invited him to crash at our place. It was really nice getting to hang out with him, we went out for a nice dinner and then to see a movie. The next day he headed off to the wedding and we went to my sister’s for a BBQ with some friends from church.
Monday I got an unexpected call from my family doctor’s office. It turned out the ultrasound results had been sent to him as well as to my OBGYN. One of his assistants called me to let me know the results. She said that the baby was measuring exactly 10 weeks on Saturday which was bang on what he or she should be. She also said that there was evidence of blood under the placenta and that my doc wanted to follow up with that. I explained to her all that has happened and that I was going for another ultrasound at my fertility clinic the very next day. I explained the plan with my OBGYN and everything, and she said she would pass the info on to my doc.
Tuesday we had another ultrasound at the clinic. It was my second last appointment there and David was working. My anxiety was getting pretty bad again, and my nephew (he’s only a few years younger than me and a close friend of mine) drove me down to the clinic. He came in for the abdominal ultrasound and got to hear Bee’s hear beat 167bpm and see Bee chillin’ on the screen. He waited in the waiting room while I had the internal scan done. Bee woke up between the two scans and was kicking and waving and even did a somersault. That was so cool to see! He or she started off just laying on the bottom, and then kicked off with their feet and ended up upside down. The tech let me just watch my baby for a while and we both mused at how fast Bee is growing and changing. I met with the doctor and discussed how we will get the results of the genetic blood test that we were having done it’s an NIPT and it looks for cell-free DNA from the baby in a sample of my blood. The DNA actually comes from the placenta not from the baby directly, but with that DNA they can check for chromosomal abnormalities and also find out the gender of the baby. All of the results will be going to David. He’ll let me know about the non-gender results and then when we are visiting his family he will let them and me know the gender. When we get back from seeing his family we will let my family know the gender.
David and I took out Lily’s ultrasounds from her memory box, and tried to compare them to Bee’s to see if the placentas were on the same sides or opposite sides. There’s this theory, called the Ramzi Theory, that you can predict the gender of a baby based on the location of the placenta in a first trimester ultrasound. We really couldn’t tell. When we’d been expecting Lily, we kept her ultrasounds on the fridge, we hadn’t done that with Bee’s. I’d just been keeping Bee’s in my purse. When we were done comparing the pictures I put Lily’s back in the memory box, and David suggested I put Bee’s on the fridge. With tears in my eyes I put Lily’s siblings images on the fridge where hers were so proudly displayed less than a year ago. It’s so hard, in a way I can’t properly articulate, how this simple action filled me with a sense of happiness and also of worry and pain.
Wednesday I went to the grocery store all on my own and I almost made it through the whole thing without pain. BUT as I was just getting the last thing the pain started and I needed to lie down. I had to push my cart to the front of the store, go through the checkout, get back to the car, there I called David and asked him to meet me in the garage to carry the groceries, then I had to drive home, walk to the elevator, and walk from the elevator to the apartment before I was finally able to lie down. It was not a good scene. But me and the baby were both fine.
On Thursday I had my pre-op appointment with Doctor M. Before we left the house for it I got a call from the hospital finally telling me the date of my cerclage procedure. The lady who called was a little flustered and kind of grumpy at the start of the call, apparently my file had come across her desk with a not saying there was no number to reach me at. She tried the first number she found and I answered. She was annoyed at other people’s incompetence. She quickly changed her tone and was much nicer sounding for the rest of our conversation where she asked me a lot of questions in preparation for the procedure. At the hospital we had a whole process to go through to check in for my appointment, but once we figured out what we were doing and where we were going it was alright. Doctor M asked how I was doing, and we discussed my anxiety a bit. We then went over some more details about the cerclage. After that she got out the Doppler to hear Bee’s heartbeat, she didn’t try very long before saying that there was no need to cause us any undue worry and she went and got the portable ultrasound machine. Very quickly she was able to find the fuzzy image of our tiny human and his or her little heart beating away. And that was our seventh ultrasound.
Friday night we were back at my sister’s house for David to work on computer stuff. I went with my sister to get some groceries and managed to still be feeling good by the time we got back to her house. But I did take the opportunity to put my feet up one we were back in the house.
And that was our eleventh week.