Something pretty amazing happened this week. It’s kind of like Bee became real. That feeling I had with Lily, that I have been missing with Bee… That blissful, serine feeling of knowing there is a little life growing inside of me. I feel that now. My hands have been traveling to my belly to rub it and to let Bee know that I’m here, and not out of worry, just out of love. I think David is feeling it too. He often will rest his hand on my belly now, the warmth of his touch makes me so happy. It’s like a perfect moment. Our little family together. It feels real!
This week was the last week of the first trimester. I started off the week feeling a little sore, but better than I had expected to feel after the cerclage. I was on the fence about taking a bump pic, I really didn’t want to get dressed. I had been living in pjs for days and really didn’t want to struggle with leggings just for the picture. I thought of doing it in my pjs but David reminded me how much I like continuity. So, I sucked it up. I put together all my bump pics from the first trimester to show how my belly has changed. I was kind of shocked that my hair hasn’t grown!
Saturday was a pretty quiet day from what I remember. David had suggested we go out for a nice dinner since I was feeling so much better than I had been right after the cerclage, but the idea of wearing real pants and sitting at a table just sounded so not good.
I can’t remember when I first felt it, if it was Saturday night or Sunday night, but I was laying on the couch watching tv with David when I thought I felt a little bubble of baby movement. That night, cuddled up beside David, falling asleep to The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross I felt another little bubble, like I haven’t felt since before we lost Lily. It is such a magical little feeling. I was very surprised that I would be feeling anything because it was so early in the pregnancy. But I was so thankful for these little moments with Bee.
Sunday we went out for brunch and it was delicious. We talked about so many things, and it was nice to just have some special time together, feeling more normal. After that we sat down for a writing marathon. We got a good four pages of Goodbye Sol written, and it was a great creative team experience! I love writing with David. I love how well we work together and how seamless the narrative is.
We went out again later in the day and on the way home David dropped his phone. It completely shattered the screen and damaged the sensors. It was super broken. But it would still buzz when messages came in and his morning alarm clock would go off. David has never broken a phone before, and he was pretty upset.
Monday morning we went to the cell store. I am eligible for an upgrade on my phone plan, and I was willing to let David use the upgrade. I was hoping that by doing that we wouldn’t have to pay too much for him to get a replacement. That morning my favourite maternity pants, a pair I had bought when I was pregnant with Lily, were in the wash. I had a bunch of maternity pants that I got second hand, but I barely wore them with Lily, and when I took out pair after pair to try and find something to wear to the store, I realized why.
There was one pair of pants that were long enough for me, but they were painfully tight around my belly. The rest were all good on my belly but way too short! I had to choose between wearing them hanging off my butt with the stretchy belly fabric covering up the distance, so that they looked a decent length at the bottom, or I could wear the top properly, and have the bottoms look ridiculous. I had to take a picture. They were so silly!
I posted the picture to facebook and got a lot of suggestions for turning them into capris, but I have been so cold in this pregnancy, really what I need is pants that fit.
We went to the phone store and I sat at the foodcourt in the mall in comfy chairs while David dealt with the people in the store. It took a while to get it all sorted out, but we actually had a breakage insurance type thing on our account, which we put on for me because I break things. So, for $50 instead of nearly $200, David got a replacement phone, exactly like the one he had broken. It got delivered to our house on Tuesday.
My sister is back home from living on the west coast for two years. They are in the middle of a big transition, and it’s nice to have a chance to spend time with her, her hubby and their two daughters. My sister picked me up on Tuesday to spend the day with them at my other sister’s house. We got coffee at Starbucks, I had a Cinnamon Dolce Creme (no coffee, just flavoured steamed milk). We hung out with family and the kids were in and out of the pool. It was a really good day!
Wednesday I went to hang out by the pool at my best friend’s grandma’s house. We chatted and ate food, and I lounged in the shade, she was in and out of the shade. Her daughter and her niece were there and it was nice spending some time with a baby.
Between Wednesday and Thursday I started having Round Ligament Pain. It felt like hot knives slicing down the sides of my belly below my belly button. It was breathtaking, and totally familiar! I remember that the first time I felt round ligament pain with Lily, was at 15 weeks, I was so surprised to be feeling it at only 12w5d with Bee. I’m glad I knew what the pain was between 5am and 7:30 when it was pretty much constant on both sides. No way that I could lie was comfortable. But at least I was able to keep telling myself, this is healthy, this means Bee is growing. This is painful, but it’s good.
Thursday I went out with two of my sisters, my mom and my nieces from the west coast. We went to Motherhood and I tried on way too many clothes! I was totally spent by the time we were done! But I left with a brand new pair of long maternity pants. I usually prefer a dark wash, but the length, the pockets and the price made these jeans the obvious winner. They are exactly the right length right now, so I’m not going to put them in the dryer, ever. I was so tired afterwards, but as soon as I got back to my sister’s I changed into my new pants. It’s so nice to have pockets!
That night David and I had our nieces over for a sleep over. We made the steak and corn on the cob for dinner, and then we took them to Marble Slab for ice cream. It was a surprise adventure, and we didn’t tell the kids where we were going, and we had joked that we were going to take them to the dog groomer’s to get new fluffy pompom tails. In the same plaza as Marble Slab was a dog groomers, and my older niece started to cry because she actually believed our joke. I felt bad, and gave her a hug and showed her the ice cream store. The girls loved that they could pick from so many flavours of ice cream and then pick all of the toppings!
After ice cream we went to a park so that the girls could burn off some of the steam they got from the ice cream sugar rush. There were a lot of people playing Pokemon Go at the park. We stayed at the park until it was almost dark. I had nothing left, I had to lie down on a park bench the whole time we were there. I felt bad that I couldn’t play with the girls. I had a little pregnancy hormone induced cry that I wasn’t actively spending that time with them. But, my wonderful man, he was all over that playground! He was pushing swings, and climbing climbers! The girls were having so much fun, and they loved when the park began to empty and it was basically just them on the playground.
Then it was back to our place for bed. The girls were so great for bedtime. They were so cooperative! David had to fix a work problem, and I went to bed.
Friday we had to get up early so that David could work at the office. We were all pretty tired as we packed up their stuff and made the trek back to my sister’s house. I chilled there for the morning, staying off my feet as much as possible. Then in the afternoon, I had to hike back to the apartment and pack for Kingston.
It was a LONG drive, with a lot of stop and go traffic. We were both exhausted by the time we got here, but we got a good little visit in before bed.
In the morning, we say hello to the second trimester!