As I typed Fifteenth today, I realized that it hasn’t taken as long to get here as I thought it would. This week I’ve been a little nervous about bleeding and other complications. With Lily, the fifteenth week was the beginning of the end and it’s hard to separate those memories and the fears attached to them from the reality of this pregnancy. At this point with Lily, I was feeling very sick, I couldn’t stand any meat, and I still couldn’t fee her at all despite the fact that she did move around a lot in there. With Bee I’ve been feeling pretty good – though a little uncomfortable with all the cervix stuff, I don’t really have any food aversions, and I have been feeling Bee off and on for weeks now. It really is a different experience this time around, but I still can’t quite let go of the fear. I guess that is one of the lasting legacies of a loss, the shiny hope and belief that everything is going to be fine and perfect and wonderful, is tarnished by the first hand knowledge that things can go wrong. Even with that fear, I have definitely been finding the good and finding the joy in this journey with BabyBee.
On Saturday David and I did a marathon writing session of Goodbye Sol. We wrote 4 “pages”. We wrote until our brains turned to Swiss cheese. It took most of the day and one little time out, but we completed the pages. We still have to give them a read through and set them up to post, it’s been a busy week…
When we were done writing, David let me indulge in a craving I have been having for such a long time… He took me to Red Lobster! It’s Crab Fest right now and I ordered the Alaska Bairdi crab legs. They were delicious, but pretty spikey! I tried my best to finish them, but as it got later, my digestion slowed (as it always does these days) and I just couldn’t finish it! I love Red lobster. I love their Chedder Bay Biscuits, and I ate a bunch of those before my crab legs came. I also had a Caesar salad, and a nice yummy virgin Sunset Passion Colada. So I did have a lot of stuff in my belly. I was full until bed time!
On Sunday we went to my grand nephew Kaiden’s third birthday party at Wasaga Beach. The rain managed to stay away most of the day! And a good time was had by all. There was a lot of food, and some good visits. I didn’t get down to the water, which is rare for me, but with the cerclage and the higher risk of infection, and my clumsiness I didn’t want to risk it. It was nice just sitting in the fresh air and chatting, watching the kids run around, seeing all the smiles.
Monday I went to Pirate Fest with my cousin and her step daughter. My cousin’s man and his brother were one of the musical acts performing. Again, the rain stayed away most of the day. It was a fun day! My brother and sister in law and one of my nieces showed up just in time for fooding. I had enough stamina to make it through most of the day. I did need to have a little lie down at one point. and there was a tent set up for specifically that purpose. there was a mattress with pillows and a couple of chairs, and ottomans. I chose the mattress. After about a half an hour, I was ready to get back out and enjoy more of the piratey-ness, but alas, I couldn’t make it through the whole event and I was leaving just as My niece Mia, her son Kaiden and two more of my nieces were showing up. Kaiden picked out some butter tarts for me and my cousin dropped them off.
Tuesday was a pretty rough day. I had a killer headache and was pretty nauseous. I made myself a breakfast smoothie, even though my stomach was already churning. I drank maybe a third of it and it bounced right back out. I couldn’t keep anything down until after I woke up from a nap around 2 in the afternoon. I was home alone and I felt so terrible, but I had some good company. As crappy as I was feeling, Bee was doing great and bouncing around and having a grand old time! It was really comforting to me to know that Bee was okay even though I wasn’t.
When David came home from work he told me that he had gotten the results of the Harmony NIPT screening. Genetically, Bee looks good! No risks showed up on the scan. So that was a weight off of our shoulders! One less thing to worry about. He wasn’t able to find out Bee’s gender though because Doctor H had left a message and she didn’t want to leave it on the message in case we didn’t want to know.
My niece came over to spend a few days with us. It was the day before her 18th birthday, and she had asked if she could celebrate her birthday with us. I guess she thinks we’re cool. I felt bad that I was feeling so crappy when she and my sister in law showed up. But by that point at least I wasn’t puking anymore.
On Wednesday we had a slow start to the day. David was working from home and he called the fertility clinic to find out just who Bee is. We had decided weeks ago that he would find out first and then let me and our families know (either in person or by video) and that way I wouldn’t have to keep a secret. I also thought that it would be really nice for David to have a special connection to this baby by being the first and for a little while the only person who knows our child by name. After the phone call, I asked him if he was happy and he said yes. I asked him if it made Bee feel more real and he said yes. So I have the special connection of being the only person to be able to feel this little life and David has the special connection of knowing who this little life is. That’s pretty cool.
We took my niece to The Works for lunch. They have some pretty awesome burgers. Then we hung out in the afternoon. David made spaghetti for dinner and then we went to Marble Slab for desert… Because it was my niece’s birthday and what better way to celebrate than with yummy ice cream?
Thursday we had my two youngest nieces and my mom stop by for a short visit part way through the day. The little girls played some Just Dance and then watched some of Star Wars the Clone Wars. After they left, my niece (the one who is now eighteen) and I watched the Maze Runner and then the Hunger Games – Mocking Jay Part One. My niece was also working on a sketch of one of the characters from Second Class Supers. Did I mention she’s also the one who made the wonderful featured image for these posts? Well, she is.
On Friday I went to visit some dear friends and their new tiny human. I got some good baby cuddles and some wonderful and honest advice on childbirth. We sat outside and it was a really nice visit. After that I had to leave and pick up David and my niece so that we could go to her place for her birthday celebration. Almost as soon as I got in the car the heavens opened in a torrential downpour. Once both David and my niece were in the car, we started driving to my brother Sir Raymond Luxury Yacht and my sister in law’s house. The rain seemed to come and go in really weird strips of pouring rain and clear sky. David drove.
My sister in law had bought a LOT of potatoes for home made poutine, and David my niece, my nephew and I all worked on getting the potatoes peeled and cut. About half way through I had to quit, and lie down. Once the potatoes were prepared, we played a game of Munchkin, and Bee was pretending my womb was a bouncy castle. I really wish that David could feel these little movements and experience what it’s like to feel our tiny human bouncing around… It’s amazing! When the game was done, David and Sir Raymond Luxury Yacht went to fry the fries in the garage. My uncle (my dad’s brother) came over and he told some wonderful stories, including one from when he and my dad were teenagers and how he met my aunt. Mia and Kaiden showed up with another of my nieces and we had a wonderful time eating and visiting and then playing with gyroscopes and spinning tops. I think it was a pretty good day.
All in all, it was a pretty good week!
(I’m only using people’s names with permission, and some of them are not the person’s actual name. If I have no permissions, I am only referring to them by their relation to me.)