Bee’s Story – Our Eighteenth Week

Well, this week I failed to take a baby bump picture. Oops.

We had a very quiet day on Saturday. David and I just vegged around the apartment. We played some No Man’s Sky and I stayed in my PJs all day.

Sunday I went out for Sushi with some of my family. I only had stuff that I could be relatively certain was safe. No sushi, no sashimi, no rolls. I had Miso soup, salad, edamame, gyoza, shrimp and pumpkin tempura (that was surprisingly good!), fried tofu, cheese wonton and more miso soup. by the time we were done eating I was pretty much done with the chair. It was hard to find a comfortable sitting position, I was leaning pretty far to the right, and I got walloped! It surprised me and I gasped! It was the biggest movement I had felt from Anika! It felt strong enough that if I had had my hand on my belly at that moment I would have felt her from the outside as well as the inside! I kept putting my hands on my belly after that waiting for another big movement.

I got home and David was helping my sister Becky and her husband Denis and their son learn how to use WordPress for a website they’re working on. I decided to lie down and have a bit of a nap. I didn’t actually sleep though. I was too busy focusing on Anika’s movements. After a while I decided to play some more No Man’s Sky while waiting for the rest of them to be ready for dinner. We went to The Works and everyone else had gourmet burgers and I ate some Greek salad. When we got back to the apartment I let Becky listen to Anika’s heartbeat with me.

On Monday I didn’t feel too great in the morning, I thought I might puke, but I didn’t. Yay! In the afternoon I called my union president to find out what to do about work and how much I would have to work to qualify for a new sick leave as I only have 57 days remaining on this leave. Which will take me to sometime in November, but Anika’s not due til the end of January. It turns out I’d have to work 11 consecutive full time days to reset my leave and even missing 5 minutes one day would screw that up. Considering that I have an ultrasound and a visit with my doctor every other week, it’s not really possible for me to be there for 11 consecutive days even if I could work the full time, which at this point I’m pretty sure I can’t considering how often I need to lie down. I could maybe do a half day. If I worked half days I would get paid for full time and for every half day that I worked I would use half a leave day to cover the other half of the day. So for every two days that I worked I could get one day closer on my leave to Anika’s due date. I decided I would try to do that, and I’d figure out just what I needed to do to get that done.

Tuesday we had another ultrasound scheduled. Because David is changing jobs to one where he has to go into the office every day, this was likely going to be the last ultrasound he’d get to go to with me. I was still in bed when David called from the other room in a panicked voice asking for my help. He’d been hit with an ocular migraine, and he could barely see. I got hi some tylenol and water and helped him into our room for him to lie down and got a cold cloth img_20160827_123034_256000.pngfor him to put over his eyes. For both of us an ocular migraine usually precede full blown migraines. And I was pretty sure David wouldn’t be able to come with me for this scan. So I started trying to recruit family members. But David was determined to go. So the two of us went together. At first David was driving, then I realized how stupid that was and we switched. The ultrasound tech this time was not overly talkative, she wouldn’t give me any information, but when she let David in the room she did show us Anika, taking the time to describe to us what we were seeing like her heart and her bladder and her arms and legs. Anika was lying there like I was: on her back with her right leg crossed over her left. Her head was down, not that that matters yet. All in all she was looking good to my eyes.

Wednesday, my sister Eva and niece Mia, Eva’s daughter La, and Mia’s son Kaiden came by for a visit and Eva and Mia were going to help me with some waxing. My chin/neck have been so hairy (a combination of PCOS and pregnancy hormones) I haven’t been able to stay on top of it with tweezing. So they were going to help me get rid of it. When Eva showed up I was trying to figure out how to start the blanket I want to make for Anika. So, while we were waiting for Mia to show up I started teaching Eva how to crochet. After Mia got here and Kaiden had a chance to play with Lara for a bit, she put him down for a nap. We were all getting a bit hungry so I took La to the grocery store to get some fixin’s for sandwiches. We got back, ate, then waxed. I feel so much better now that I’m not the bearded lady.

Before falling asleep, I had an anxiety attack about what would happen at my appointment the next day. I worried that something was wrong and that David wouldn’t be there with me (he had to work in the office on Thursday). My sister Becky would be going to my appointment with me, but she had an appointment of her own booked for 20minutes before my appointment so I was worried that she wouldn’t be there when I got terrible news. David managed to help me calm down enough to sleep, but just before 2am I was woken up by abdominal cramps. My first thought was labour pains and that I was going into pre-term labour again. David tried to calm me down, but I couldn’t. Every time a cramp started I panicked. I had to get to the hospital. David tried to get me to focus on my breathing in an attempt to lower my heart rate, my heart was racing. He told me to give the cramps 25more minutes and if they didn’t subside, we’d go to the hospital. I don’t know how long after that I had the urge to go to the washroom, but it was less than 25 minutes. It turned out I was freaking out about needing to poop.

Thursday morning Becky picked me up and we went to the hospital for our appointments. On the way there we were talking about my work options and how stressed I was about making the right decisions for me and especially for Anika. Becky suggested that I put the decision about work on the back burner until the first week of school was over. When I had signed in for my appointment I went to wait for my turn. The nurse came out and let me know that my medical file had gone missing, but that they were trying to track it down. They had my most recent ultrasound results, because my chart had gone missing before the ultrasound had been faxed over. The nurse checked my blood pressure, was high for me: 127/75. She also got my weight, I’m up a pound or so. She asked my due date, and put that in the new file she was creating for me. I went back to the waiting area, to wait for my turn with Doctor M. The nurse came out and asked me to confirm my due date, so I told her again: January 28th. She looked me over and said “So you’re 17w4d?” I said, “Actually 17w5d.” Then she told me that I looked way to big to be only 17 weeks. I said “Thanks?” and left it at that. I saw Doctor M as I was escorted to the curtained off bed area where she’d see me. I was super happy to see her! I overheard the nurse telling her about how my file was still missing, and Doctor M filled in some of the blanks for her, telling her about my cerclage and things like that.

Becky came in looking a little rough, her appointment had caused her a bit of stress so we were talking about that until this young woman I hadn’t met before came in. She’s an intern studying under Doctor M right now. She checked for Anika’s hearbeat and measured my belly. She asked if i had any questions and then went to get Doctor M. I asked Doctor M my whole bunch of questions and also talked to her about my anxiety attacks from the night before. She laughed a little at the incident from the middle of the night, and told me that if I have any troubles from this point on I’m supposed to go to the Family Birthing Unit instead of the ER. She said that reasons to go to the hospital at this point are cramps or unfamiliar pains that last for over an hour, spotting or bleeding, or a large amount of discharge or fluid. Then it was her turn to go over the results of the latest ultrasound. Anika was looking great, but my cervix had shortened by at least a cm. It is only 2cm long now. So, now I’m on full bed rest, which means that instead of listening to my body and lying down when I need to I have many more limtations… I’m allowed to walk from one room in our apartment to another, and lie down when I get there. No lifting, no dishes, no laundry, nothing that has me standing or walking around. I’m allowed to go up a flight of stairs and down once a day. If I’m going out anywhere it’s in a wheelchair.

At first I took it really hard. I felt like I had failed Anika. I worried more that this pregnancy was going to end like Lily’s but after talking to Becky a bit and after talking to David on the phone when he was done work, I started looking at it differently. I realized that we have been doing the right things. Getting the stitch at 12 weeks was the right move, and that my earlier modifications probably helped my cervix not to shorten even more with the weight of Anika growing bigger. David did some research and found out that cervical length isn’t a one way street. By being on bed rest, I can hopefully gain back at least some of the length that I have lost and that it can get much shorter than 2cm without i being an emergency situation.  My doctor is taking care to put me and Anika in the best position possible for this pregnancy to be successful. I haven’t failed Anika.

Friday was a pretty low key day. I spent most of the day lying on the couch, crocheting and watching some tv. David and I finished watching the Netflix show Stranger things. Then in the evening I lounged in David’s office on the futon watching David play No Man’s Sky and making suggestions on where we should go, helping him find the resources we needed to make the best warp drive, and suggesting what to name planets.

This week was what I consider a short week, but it was definitely not the easiest week. But we are one week closer to viability.

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